WHY I HAD TO BREAK UP WITH PERFECTION

I have this great idea, but I would need this… I would wear that but I would have to put it with this, and I don’t have that yet. I don’t know something seems off about this, let me look it over and think about it. It is not tidy enough. No I don’t like the way that looks, what will people think if I let them see me like that. I need to have it all together first. That is not how I pictured it to look.

Does this sound like an inner conversation you have ever had with yourself? If you are anything like me, you have struggled with the constant battle of making everything perfect. Everything always needs to be in place, with the right resources. God forbid if you did anything that was half way done. Until  the feeling of perfection comes over you, it is just not good enough. For as far as I can remember I have been extremely critical of myself. Most times in the midst of my perfectionism, I would get the “don’t worry about what other people say or think,” speech from my family and friends. Little did they know what other people had to say was my secondary obstacle. The real set back was myself. 

It would always start with this perfect idea. I would come up with my next plan, project or creation. The excitement was immense and I would get right to beginning my new venture. At first it all seems seamless and straightforward. I will share my new love with those I trust and the support was always there. I would also share for some accountability… because I am not new to my self sabotaging ways. Eagerly I put in extreme effort to complete my vision. But as the time came closer to making it public, I would begin to slowly step on the brakes.

A lot of the times it would start with me identifying something that can be done a bit better. I would begin to change things, switch around how I want it to look. Then I would convince myself that I need to work on it more. I would shove it aside and go into a feeling of never-ending criticism over my own creation. 

Most times it is not this drastic, but every time I have to battle with my perfectionist mind. I just want everything to be perfect, everything needs to be done in a particular way. Growing up, I had a mother that strived to keep things as tidy as possible, especially hygiene and your outer appearance. Maybe that is where it came from? But all I know is I had a huge problem. 

As a creative person, this can be such a disservice to yourself. If you feel nothing is ever good enough, you never get anything done. I know this because I lived this. I constantly felt like a person with loads to share in this world, but I was being put in a headlock by my own criticism everyday. The criticism usually won, and I was left feeling defeated. I was my own dream killer.

Finally identify that this habit needed to be dealt with I had to begin to get uncomfortable with the fact that… NOTHING IS GOING TO BE PERFECT!!!! Goosebumps filled my body when I first tried to swallow this pill. I had no way of ever making anything perfect. I just had the ability to do what I can and try my best. So I started putting things out as soon as they were complete. I would cringe after hitting the final publish button. Or with physical creations, I would feel like the new kid that entered a classroom months after school started. But I realized I created something in my mind that was not real. Perfectionism is not a realistic way of doing things. I had to end the relationship, it was time to part ways.

“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” ~ Kim Collins

However, it did take some time to fully get over perfection. There were steps I had to make daily to get over the relationship we had. The following were things I had to do to ensure I would successfully rid myself of the perfectionist mind:

  1. Daily affirmations that oppose perfection. “Someone out there needs what I have today”
  2. Commit to sharing one creation a week. – While working on your craft no matter what it is, share it with the world. Share your process if you want to also.
  3. Always remember that you will never please everyone, your purpose is not to please everyone. – As much as perfectionism is an inner battle, it is to please others. The sooner you come to terms that it is impossible to please everyone. The better you will fell about who you are and what you are capable of doing.
  4. Not everyone is going to like it, but not everyone is going to hate it either. – The good news is, someone out there is waiting for you to do what you do best. Focus on that.
  5. The more you do the better it gets! – Practice makes perfect. Get on the horse and soon you will be a professional. 

Bottom line is it is ok to strive for your best. But over obsessing to the point that it hinders you is not the way we should live. Break up with perfection, and strive for improvement. The beauty is found in your process.

You Are Loved, xo

Angel

2 Ways To Stay Focused

A decision has been made and you are ready to start. Your motivation is at peak performance and you can envision the feeling of victory at the finish line. We all start things because of a desire within us. Whatever the desire is, it was strong enough to shift you into motion. Maybe it was a conversation with a friend, a lifelong goal, or an immediate call to action from an unfortunate situation that sparked the flame. The bottom line is, there was something you aspired and you were willing to do whatever it took to lay hold on it.

Then after awhile of this zeal, you begin to get in routine and find out that it takes more than excitement to get to your goal. What happens to zeal overtime? This is a situation many people find themselves in. They lose the drive that was once present.

It’s not that the desire disappeared, it’s the focus that begins to shift.

As a personal trainer, this is something I discuss everyday. “How to keep the momentum going within the journey at all times.” I am sure we all have lost the tenacity to keep going in something that we started off really excited about. The same goes for all the things people strive to do in life, not just Fitness. At some point there comes a mountain that needs to be conquered. Everyone’s mountain looks different, and the heights vary.

For some it’s a lack of time, money, or knowledge that creates this mountain to climb on the journey. On the other hand, life’s issues get in the way and cause a shift in focus. All of these issues hold a solid argument for immediate priorities, but none of them bring you close to your true desire. So how then? How do you get over the immediate priorities?

  1. A GOAL – never forget your goal.
  2. YOUR PASSION – hold on to the feeling that drives you.

Everyday that you decide to only live according to what needs to be done, and put aside what you want to accomplish. You destroy the passion, and you bury the chances to succeed. I agree sometimes you have to take care of other things and they do come up unexpectedly. However if you have a desire and you want to succeed, do not let a day go by without doing something towards your goal. That is how you can overcome and succeed.

Somedays you are going to do everything you need to, towards your goal. Somedays you can barely get through one thing. I believe that the days you give 100% should be noted. But the days you gave 10% because things got tough should be celebrated!

You have been given your desire for a reason, keep the passion going. Make a step everyday – Big or small, do not stay still, do not get stuck. Focus, Climb, Conquer!

You Are Loved xo,

Angel

5 WAYS YOUR CHILDREN BENEFIT FROM YOU LIVING A HEALTHY LIFE

Ok parents, am I the only one who thought that putting my children before everything in my life including myself was the definition of being a good parent? For years I somehow became convinced that I had to be the super mom at all times, even when I was running on empty. Not that anyone ever said this is the way to parent. It was somehow a natural response that I adapted to my life. My motto was that once my children were ok, I was good. 

After years went by, the children grew. I realized that I was more out of touch with myself than ever before. With the years of neglect, I too grew in size, negativity and health concerns. As much as I thought I was ok, I wasn’t. I was physically present, but I was so hidden inside. The act of placing myself last was foolish and ironically selfish. I was not giving my best, I was giving my last.

I am sure there are many parents out there that can relate to my experience and if you do, I welcome you to this blog! It is time for you to see your own health as a priority and start living to your fullest. There is an old saying, “You can’t give, what you don’t have” and I am a firm believer of this. When you go on a plane the safety instructions for parents is to put your oxygen mask on first in the case of an emergency, then deal with your child. I guess it is safe to say that being a good parent means taking care of yourself first and foremost. This way you can give an overflow of your best. 

Self-care is selfless, and the more you understand this the better your experience as a parent will be. Need more convincing? Here are 5 ways that your children will benefit from your new healthy way of life:

1. Combat Stress – Exercise releases endorphins which are the natural painkiller chemical of the human body. Eating healthy also can affect your mood for the better. Being a parent has its own moments of high demand on your emotions. But you should not function through stress every day. When you are under stress your children can sense this, and the stress can spread throughout your home causing tension in everyone.

2. Decisions, Decisions– No one makes good judgement calls in the wrong state of mind. If you are feeling low, chances are your decisions will be made out of pure emotions. Healthy living can drastically change your cognitive thinking, therefore enabling you to think at your best!

3. An Amazing Role Model– Whether you like it or not, our children are watching our every move and they pick up our habits in one way or the other. So why not make an effort to be displaying a life where you cherish your health and make great choices to live well. 

4. Energy Boost– The demands of life will never end and when you have to care for others, you have to extend yourself. Even when you don’t feel like it. That is why you need to be training your body to endure, and feeding your body the right fuel to sustain you throughout the day. The more energy you have lessens the complaining about being fatigued. You’ll be able to keep up!

5. Positive Environment– Living a healthy lifestyle will not only have you looking great, you also feel amazing on the inside. When someone is looking and feeling happy there is no choice but to spread that same happiness to those around them and cultivate an environment of love. The love you put into who you are is the love you can give to others for who they are. 

These 5 steps are just some of the major benefits you can have for you and your children. The positive turnaround is endless. Make a decision today to put your best self forward!

Happy Healthy Parenting

You Are Loved xo,

Angel