My Purpose Lifestyle

The Wake-Up Call: When Avoidance No Longer Worked

I can’t say there was one dramatic moment when I realized I was struggling financially. The truth is, I always knew. It wasn’t ignorance—I was aware of my bank balance, my debts, and the mounting responsibilities. But instead of confronting my reality, I became more skilled at hiding it. I’d avoid looking at statements, delay checking my accounts, and convince myself that as long as I kept pushing forward, things would somehow work out.

Deep down, I carried the weight of shame. I felt frustrated, not just because of the money issues themselves, but because I knew better. I’ve always believed in discipline, hard work, and faith—but when it came to my finances, I had let avoidance become my coping mechanism.

But here’s what I’ve learned: financial struggles are common. They don’t define you. What defines you is what you do when you finally decide to face them.

The Hard Truths: What I Had to Face

1. Avoidance Doesn’t Erase Debt

Ignoring the bills, unopened emails, and account statements didn’t make them disappear—it made them worse. The longer I avoided looking at the numbers, the harder it became to fix them.

2. Emotional Spending Was Running My Life

I bought things when I was stressed. I spent money to celebrate. I shopped when I was bored. Somewhere along the way, I justified it all. “I work hard. I deserve this.” But the reality? Those small moments of spending were adding up and pulling me deeper into the cycle.

3. I Didn’t Know My Numbers

If you had asked me how much I actually spent each month or what my real debt looked like, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. I knew I had bills, but I wasn’t tracking anything. And because I wasn’t tracking, I wasn’t in control.

4. My Lack of Financial Education Was Costing Me

Growing up, no one really taught me about credit, budgeting, or wealth-building. And while that wasn’t my fault, it was my responsibility to change. I had to stop using my lack of knowledge as an excuse.

5. Money Conflicts in Marriage Were Real

My husband and I have very different approaches to money. He’s structured, responsible, and always thinking long-term. I, on the other hand, was struggling in silence, avoiding conversations, and making financial decisions emotionally. Our financial struggles led to tension, misunderstandings, and fights. If we were going to overcome this, I had to stop hiding and start working with him instead of against him.

The Turning Point: Faith & Facing Reality

At some point, I had to surrender.

I prayed for wisdom, for discipline, and for a new way of thinking. The Bible talks about stewardship—managing what we have wisely, not just for ourselves, but as a way of honouring God. I had spent years operating in a scarcity mindset, feeling like I was always behind, always lacking, always one step away from financial disaster.

But the moment I began to shift my mindset from lack to stewardship, things changed. Instead of seeing money as my struggle, I started seeing it as a tool—a resource I needed to manage well. I took accountability, stopped making excuses, and decided to build a new financial future, step by step.

Lessons Learned: A New Path Forward

1. Tracking Every Dollar

I stopped guessing and started tracking. I needed to see exactly where my money was going—every dollar, every expense. There was no more hiding.

2. Financial Honesty in Marriage

I opened up to my husband. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. We needed to work together instead of arguing. We started setting financial goals as a team.

3. Breaking Emotional Spending

I had to find new ways to cope with stress, boredom, and even celebration that didn’t involve spending money mindlessly. That meant praying through my emotions instead of shopping through them.

4. Small Steps, Big Impact

I realized I didn’t have to fix everything overnight. Small, consistent changes were better than doing nothing at all. One bill at a time. One savings goal at a time. One smart decision at a time.

5. Building Faith-Based Wealth

I had to stop seeing money as something that controlled me and start seeing it as something I could manage well. Money isn’t evil—loving it and mismanaging it is where the problems start. The goal isn’t just to have more—it’s to be responsible, to bless others, and to create stability for my family.

Hope for the Future: A Work in Progress

I’m still on this journey. I still have work to do. But I’m no longer hiding.

These days, I’m actively budgeting, tackling debt, and making intentional choices. I’m learning how to build wealth the right way, without fear or frustration. And most importantly, I want to encourage anyone struggling with their finances—you are not alone, and it’s never too late to change.

No matter how deep the struggle, there is hope.

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty.

— Proverbs 3:9-10

Here, We Grow 💚✨

Love,

Angel