WHY I HAD TO BREAK UP WITH PERFECTION

I have this great idea, but I would need this… I would wear that but I would have to put it with this, and I don’t have that yet. I don’t know something seems off about this, let me look it over and think about it. It is not tidy enough. No I don’t like the way that looks, what will people think if I let them see me like that. I need to have it all together first. That is not how I pictured it to look.

Does this sound like an inner conversation you have ever had with yourself? If you are anything like me, you have struggled with the constant battle of making everything perfect. Everything always needs to be in place, with the right resources. God forbid if you did anything that was half way done. Until  the feeling of perfection comes over you, it is just not good enough. For as far as I can remember I have been extremely critical of myself. Most times in the midst of my perfectionism, I would get the “don’t worry about what other people say or think,” speech from my family and friends. Little did they know what other people had to say was my secondary obstacle. The real set back was myself. 

It would always start with this perfect idea. I would come up with my next plan, project or creation. The excitement was immense and I would get right to beginning my new venture. At first it all seems seamless and straightforward. I will share my new love with those I trust and the support was always there. I would also share for some accountability… because I am not new to my self sabotaging ways. Eagerly I put in extreme effort to complete my vision. But as the time came closer to making it public, I would begin to slowly step on the brakes.

A lot of the times it would start with me identifying something that can be done a bit better. I would begin to change things, switch around how I want it to look. Then I would convince myself that I need to work on it more. I would shove it aside and go into a feeling of never-ending criticism over my own creation. 

Most times it is not this drastic, but every time I have to battle with my perfectionist mind. I just want everything to be perfect, everything needs to be done in a particular way. Growing up, I had a mother that strived to keep things as tidy as possible, especially hygiene and your outer appearance. Maybe that is where it came from? But all I know is I had a huge problem. 

As a creative person, this can be such a disservice to yourself. If you feel nothing is ever good enough, you never get anything done. I know this because I lived this. I constantly felt like a person with loads to share in this world, but I was being put in a headlock by my own criticism everyday. The criticism usually won, and I was left feeling defeated. I was my own dream killer.

Finally identify that this habit needed to be dealt with I had to begin to get uncomfortable with the fact that… NOTHING IS GOING TO BE PERFECT!!!! Goosebumps filled my body when I first tried to swallow this pill. I had no way of ever making anything perfect. I just had the ability to do what I can and try my best. So I started putting things out as soon as they were complete. I would cringe after hitting the final publish button. Or with physical creations, I would feel like the new kid that entered a classroom months after school started. But I realized I created something in my mind that was not real. Perfectionism is not a realistic way of doing things. I had to end the relationship, it was time to part ways.

“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” ~ Kim Collins

However, it did take some time to fully get over perfection. There were steps I had to make daily to get over the relationship we had. The following were things I had to do to ensure I would successfully rid myself of the perfectionist mind:

  1. Daily affirmations that oppose perfection. “Someone out there needs what I have today”
  2. Commit to sharing one creation a week. – While working on your craft no matter what it is, share it with the world. Share your process if you want to also.
  3. Always remember that you will never please everyone, your purpose is not to please everyone. – As much as perfectionism is an inner battle, it is to please others. The sooner you come to terms that it is impossible to please everyone. The better you will fell about who you are and what you are capable of doing.
  4. Not everyone is going to like it, but not everyone is going to hate it either. – The good news is, someone out there is waiting for you to do what you do best. Focus on that.
  5. The more you do the better it gets! – Practice makes perfect. Get on the horse and soon you will be a professional. 

Bottom line is it is ok to strive for your best. But over obsessing to the point that it hinders you is not the way we should live. Break up with perfection, and strive for improvement. The beauty is found in your process.

You Are Loved, xo

Angel

My Transformational Morning Routine

For years I would dread waking up in the morning. It didn’t matter what was going to happen that day, good or bad. I loathed the process of getting out of my bed. The sleep never seemed to be enough and I could not conjure up any happiness.

A negative start to your day is one of the leading causes in an unsatisfied life, filled with more downs than ups. Until I discovered this truth I lived feeling as though I had been dealt the worst hand in life. Everyday seemed jinxed and I felt as though I had no control over any situation in my life. Have you ever see a cartoon that has that one character with the cloud over their head at all times? Everyone else around them seemed to be experiencing a clear day. But not that particular character, it was always gloomy? If yes then you have just experienced a visual of what it was like for me in the mornings a few years ago. I am pretty sure some of you can relate to this as well… I mean you did start reading this to change your morning routine, right !?!

“Each good morning we are born again, what we do today is what matters most” – Buddha

So how did I pull myself together, how did I change my outlook and make my mornings more enjoyable? After realizing that I was struggling with underlying depression and the outcome of other negative habits. I was able to take the steps to recover my life. With the help of my church, family and friends I began to put my life back together. Spiritually, mentally and physically. One aspect of my recovery and my transformation was a consistent morning routine. One that set me up for a successful day, a day to feel fulfilled. I quickly learned that anyone that wants to be in control of their day, never takes their mornings for granted. Through trials and growing I made it my duty to ensure I had a strategy for every morning.

“I love the smell of possibility in the morning.” – Unknown

For anyone out there that is looking to make a change in their life, to feel hope, to reach their goals and to create a life of their dreams. My morning routine will help you achieve this!

  1. Set your intentions the night before – Surprise! A successful morning requires a plan made the night before. Set alarms, take out gym clothes (if you’re working out), prepare journals and pens, set up prayer/meditation space, have your music ready and anything else you plan to complete in the morning. Be prepared.
  2. Make Your First Words An Affirmation – You would be shocked to find out how much power and life can come from your lips. I wake up thanking God for a new day, and continue thanking God for anything that comes to mind. You can make your first words mean something that brings joy, love, encouragement and peace.
  3. Listen to your thoughts: Take a moment to listen to your thoughts, make sure they are in alignment with your intentions for the day. Make any inner dialogue adjustments as necessary. You need all of you to be on the same page.
  4. Hydrate: You are thirsty, even if you don’t feel like you are. My favourite morning refreshment is a glass of infused water. Lemon & Mint
  5. Prayer/Meditation & Journal: Seal the deal for the day! Don’t skip out on spiritually aligning your intentions, and actions for the day. Keep a physical log of your morning thoughts and the instructions you receive in the quiet of the morning.
  6. Movement: Whether you hit the gym for a workout, pop in your own at home workout or just go for a walk with the dog. Move your body early in the morning. Just 20 minutes can create such an uplifting internal feeling, a natural happy pill.
  7. Play Music That Makes You Smile: When you have done all you can, play music that makes you sing and dance. Music can help you stay calm and in a happy state. Here is a playlist I put together for my mornings. I hope you enjoy it. Angel’s Happy Dose

No more bad mornings! Take control of your day, every day. You’re welcome.

You Are Loved, xo

Angel

2 Ways To Stay Focused

A decision has been made and you are ready to start. Your motivation is at peak performance and you can envision the feeling of victory at the finish line. We all start things because of a desire within us. Whatever the desire is, it was strong enough to shift you into motion. Maybe it was a conversation with a friend, a lifelong goal, or an immediate call to action from an unfortunate situation that sparked the flame. The bottom line is, there was something you aspired and you were willing to do whatever it took to lay hold on it.

Then after awhile of this zeal, you begin to get in routine and find out that it takes more than excitement to get to your goal. What happens to zeal overtime? This is a situation many people find themselves in. They lose the drive that was once present.

It’s not that the desire disappeared, it’s the focus that begins to shift.

As a personal trainer, this is something I discuss everyday. “How to keep the momentum going within the journey at all times.” I am sure we all have lost the tenacity to keep going in something that we started off really excited about. The same goes for all the things people strive to do in life, not just Fitness. At some point there comes a mountain that needs to be conquered. Everyone’s mountain looks different, and the heights vary.

For some it’s a lack of time, money, or knowledge that creates this mountain to climb on the journey. On the other hand, life’s issues get in the way and cause a shift in focus. All of these issues hold a solid argument for immediate priorities, but none of them bring you close to your true desire. So how then? How do you get over the immediate priorities?

  1. A GOAL – never forget your goal.
  2. YOUR PASSION – hold on to the feeling that drives you.

Everyday that you decide to only live according to what needs to be done, and put aside what you want to accomplish. You destroy the passion, and you bury the chances to succeed. I agree sometimes you have to take care of other things and they do come up unexpectedly. However if you have a desire and you want to succeed, do not let a day go by without doing something towards your goal. That is how you can overcome and succeed.

Somedays you are going to do everything you need to, towards your goal. Somedays you can barely get through one thing. I believe that the days you give 100% should be noted. But the days you gave 10% because things got tough should be celebrated!

You have been given your desire for a reason, keep the passion going. Make a step everyday – Big or small, do not stay still, do not get stuck. Focus, Climb, Conquer!

You Are Loved xo,

Angel

TIPS FOR WORKING OUT WITH BAE

Have you every noticed those couples in the gym that are always working out together? Each time you see them there is an actual look of focus and enjoyment while they work out? Well, My husband and I happen to be that couple. You will always see us working out together, we are rarely spotted in the gym solo. 

I’ve spoken to many women that ask me how I manage to work out with my husband all the time. I often hear the underlying doubt in their voices as I explain how much I enjoy his accountability and company, while working out. Apparently, what we have going on seems impossible to many relationships out there. I am by no means saying I’m naive to some feeling this way.  I know it takes serious self development, with selfless characteristics to maintain a fitness relationship with the love of your life.

While speaking to others about this topic, it is said that some (not all) men have an issue with a female trainer. On the other hand, some (not all) women prefer a female trainer. The female decision is based on goals they want to achieve, the male decision is based on how they view roles in a relationship. So when it comes down to deciding on a partner for working out. Some of those choices could work against a couple trying to be gym buddies.

However, I would like to think that we are past the old mentality of what a woman can do, and what a man can do. For example, in my marriage, I am the personal trainer by profession. When we hit the gym together, I am in charge of the workouts, it’s what I do. A lot of my clients find it interesting that my husband does not mind. “Does he listen to you?” is the most frequently asked question. The answer, Yes!

After evaluating this topic for some time now. The bigger issue that I found was that there is a desire from couples to work out together, and the desire is not one sided either. The gap that separates this from happening is a lack of understanding how to support one another in a healthy, positive way. Most of the times someone in the relationship is down in confidence, and sometimes both people are down in confidence. Establishing a new fitness routine can be stressful, and when you include your love life… well emotions are literally flying all over the place. 

By evaluating what has worked for my marriage and other fit couples, I put pen to paper jotting down the characteristics and habits I found helpful. There are ways to enjoy each other, you can bring your love life to the weight room. Including the following 5 steps will not only strengthen your connection, it will also support a healthy  transformation from the inside out and enhance your fitness experience.

  1. Words Of Encouragement – Choosing your words wisely is very important and the reason this is the step first. Like I stated before, working out can be a very emotional time for individuals. You are trying to change something about yourself, or maintain something you feel could change on your body. The last thing you want to hear from someone is discouraging words… especially from your spouse. Think before you speak, if you can’t say something with encouragement. Don’t say it. At least not while you are in the middle of a workout.
  2. Respect Your Spouses Level Of Fitness – Bragging and comparing is never acceptable. It is not a form of motivation, so get rid of that mentality. Just because you can do something, does not mean everyone else can. Just because you are not able to do something, does not mean you have to make someone feel bad that they can. Instead of trying to push someone to where you feel they should be. Or hold someone back to feel better about yourself. Celebrate great efforts in each other and set up steps according to your desire to do more each time.
  3. Know Each Others Personal Goals & Show An Interest – Most of the time I want to work on my lower body, and my husband is more concerned about his chest and arms. But because we acknowledge this and we know how important those areas are to one another. Workouts for those areas become more focused on the person it matters to most. This way the motivation and focus remain intact. Respecting our individual needs. Nothing is more defeating than working on your area of focus while having someone disinterest in what you are doing.
  4. Flirt With Each Other – Spice it up! You are in a sweaty environment, doing movements that you can totally play around with. Let your spouses eyes be on you. No matter where you are physically, they are with you and love you. Work with what you have and keep the flame going. A simple touch, blowing kisses, telling one another they are looking super sexy… keeping things PG, yet silently hot between the both of you. Never mind the guy with the twelve pack and zero percent body fat. Never mind the girl that barely has anything on and is bent over. You can keep the focus on each other, each and every workout.
  5. Converse Without Nagging – I know the ladies get the bad reputation in the nagging department, but fellas you are not exempt. A positive environment does not go well with a nagging conversation. It is not the time to talk to your spouse about all the things you do not like, issues that you have with them, or others. You  should stay clear from unleashing your insecurities, issues and negativity every time you hit the gym together.

A successful fit couple relationship is more than achievable, and by implementing these steps you will begin to see just how much you can enjoy one another. Regardless of your fitness level, or who is more experienced. Respect, encouragement and genuine interest for one another are the main ingredients!

You Are Loved xo,

Angel


5 WAYS TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN WEIGHT LOSS

If you’re reading this chances are you are searching for tips to help you through a fitness program. Or you have been unsuccessful in the past and want to know if it is even possible to get through a program successfully. If this is you take a moment to celebrate how normal you are! Congratulations, you are not the only one in this world who finds it tough when it comes to fitness and staying consistent to the end.

I have spent years signing up for expensive programs, subscribing to all the new sensations being advertised, following plans online, visiting weight loss doctors, starving myself using unhealthy lose fat in 10 days programs and trying passed down quick fixes from friends and family members. All of that, and in the end I concluded that I should just get Lipo Suction. I mean, the feeling of failure was real on my journey.

So let me ask you something now, can you relate to any of that? Yup I will wait…

Attempt after attempt, there was something disconnected in my ability to achieve the goals I wanted. It was something within me. As much as I would love to blame the programs, my work schedule, my kids, my financial situation… the list of setbacks was endless. As my desire to transform my body intensified, I began to realize I had to make some changes within. There was nothing I could do to control the things around me, and if I allowed that to be my deal breaker I would live a life never acheiving anything. So how is it possible? Let me explain to you how I began to lay hold on success in my own goals. The 5 steps below are the most important steps I found in my journey, they are my foundational steps. As you begin to put them into practice, I assure you the results you get will be mind blowing.

They are:

1. KNOW YOUR DESIRE & WHY – You have to make a solid decision of what you want.

  • Knowing eliminates confusion
  • Knowing provides guidance in your everyday decisions
  • Knowing empowers you to stand your ground always in every situation

2. GET YOUR MIND IN LINE – What ever you think you will experience, remove doubt and failure.

  • Your mind needs to focus on the positive
  • Your mind needs to be reprogrammed away from “Can’t”
  • Your mind is the biggest muscle you will have to train on a continual basis, to ensure it is thinking the correct thoughts at all times

3. MAKE YOUR GOAL A PRIORITY –Everyday should include your goal, schedule it in and stick to it.

  • Scheduling creates repetition and develops habits
  • Scheduling keeps you accountable to work on what is important to you
  • Scheduling helps you prioritize and eliminates time wasting
  • Scheduling is the key to conquering procrastination

4. LEARN TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN – Everyone’s goals are different, do not let other people derail you from your routine.

  • You become your biggest cheerleader
  • You avoid feeling lack of support
  • You avoid falling off track
  • You develop strong inner strength
  • You easily support others in their journey, because you know what it takes

5. BECOME AN EXPERT – Ensure that you are reading and getting understanding in anything you are doing, the more you know the more you grow in strength.

  • Reading helps you understand and eliminates frustration
  • Reading equips you with knowledge and empowers you to do more
  • Reading enlightens you and gives  you confidence in what you are doing

You Are Loved xo,

Angel

5 WAYS YOUR CHILDREN BENEFIT FROM YOU LIVING A HEALTHY LIFE

Ok parents, am I the only one who thought that putting my children before everything in my life including myself was the definition of being a good parent? For years I somehow became convinced that I had to be the super mom at all times, even when I was running on empty. Not that anyone ever said this is the way to parent. It was somehow a natural response that I adapted to my life. My motto was that once my children were ok, I was good. 

After years went by, the children grew. I realized that I was more out of touch with myself than ever before. With the years of neglect, I too grew in size, negativity and health concerns. As much as I thought I was ok, I wasn’t. I was physically present, but I was so hidden inside. The act of placing myself last was foolish and ironically selfish. I was not giving my best, I was giving my last.

I am sure there are many parents out there that can relate to my experience and if you do, I welcome you to this blog! It is time for you to see your own health as a priority and start living to your fullest. There is an old saying, “You can’t give, what you don’t have” and I am a firm believer of this. When you go on a plane the safety instructions for parents is to put your oxygen mask on first in the case of an emergency, then deal with your child. I guess it is safe to say that being a good parent means taking care of yourself first and foremost. This way you can give an overflow of your best. 

Self-care is selfless, and the more you understand this the better your experience as a parent will be. Need more convincing? Here are 5 ways that your children will benefit from your new healthy way of life:

1. Combat Stress – Exercise releases endorphins which are the natural painkiller chemical of the human body. Eating healthy also can affect your mood for the better. Being a parent has its own moments of high demand on your emotions. But you should not function through stress every day. When you are under stress your children can sense this, and the stress can spread throughout your home causing tension in everyone.

2. Decisions, Decisions– No one makes good judgement calls in the wrong state of mind. If you are feeling low, chances are your decisions will be made out of pure emotions. Healthy living can drastically change your cognitive thinking, therefore enabling you to think at your best!

3. An Amazing Role Model– Whether you like it or not, our children are watching our every move and they pick up our habits in one way or the other. So why not make an effort to be displaying a life where you cherish your health and make great choices to live well. 

4. Energy Boost– The demands of life will never end and when you have to care for others, you have to extend yourself. Even when you don’t feel like it. That is why you need to be training your body to endure, and feeding your body the right fuel to sustain you throughout the day. The more energy you have lessens the complaining about being fatigued. You’ll be able to keep up!

5. Positive Environment– Living a healthy lifestyle will not only have you looking great, you also feel amazing on the inside. When someone is looking and feeling happy there is no choice but to spread that same happiness to those around them and cultivate an environment of love. The love you put into who you are is the love you can give to others for who they are. 

These 5 steps are just some of the major benefits you can have for you and your children. The positive turnaround is endless. Make a decision today to put your best self forward!

Happy Healthy Parenting

You Are Loved xo,

Angel