Have you every noticed those couples in the gym that are always working out together? Each time you see them there is an actual look of focus and enjoyment while they work out? Well, My husband and I happen to be that couple. You will always see us working out together, we are rarely spotted in the gym solo.
I’ve spoken to many women that ask me how I manage to work out with my husband all the time. I often hear the underlying doubt in their voices as I explain how much I enjoy his accountability and company, while working out. Apparently, what we have going on seems impossible to many relationships out there. I am by no means saying I’m naive to some feeling this way. I know it takes serious self development, with selfless characteristics to maintain a fitness relationship with the love of your life.
While speaking to others about this topic, it is said that some (not all) men have an issue with a female trainer. On the other hand, some (not all) women prefer a female trainer. The female decision is based on goals they want to achieve, the male decision is based on how they view roles in a relationship. So when it comes down to deciding on a partner for working out. Some of those choices could work against a couple trying to be gym buddies.
However, I would like to think that we are past the old mentality of what a woman can do, and what a man can do. For example, in my marriage, I am the personal trainer by profession. When we hit the gym together, I am in charge of the workouts, it’s what I do. A lot of my clients find it interesting that my husband does not mind. “Does he listen to you?” is the most frequently asked question. The answer, Yes!
After evaluating this topic for some time now. The bigger issue that I found was that there is a desire from couples to work out together, and the desire is not one sided either. The gap that separates this from happening is a lack of understanding how to support one another in a healthy, positive way. Most of the times someone in the relationship is down in confidence, and sometimes both people are down in confidence. Establishing a new fitness routine can be stressful, and when you include your love life… well emotions are literally flying all over the place.
By evaluating what has worked for my marriage and other fit couples, I put pen to paper jotting down the characteristics and habits I found helpful. There are ways to enjoy each other, you can bring your love life to the weight room. Including the following 5 steps will not only strengthen your connection, it will also support a healthy transformation from the inside out and enhance your fitness experience.
- Words Of Encouragement – Choosing your words wisely is very important and the reason this is the step first. Like I stated before, working out can be a very emotional time for individuals. You are trying to change something about yourself, or maintain something you feel could change on your body. The last thing you want to hear from someone is discouraging words… especially from your spouse. Think before you speak, if you can’t say something with encouragement. Don’t say it. At least not while you are in the middle of a workout.
- Respect Your Spouses Level Of Fitness – Bragging and comparing is never acceptable. It is not a form of motivation, so get rid of that mentality. Just because you can do something, does not mean everyone else can. Just because you are not able to do something, does not mean you have to make someone feel bad that they can. Instead of trying to push someone to where you feel they should be. Or hold someone back to feel better about yourself. Celebrate great efforts in each other and set up steps according to your desire to do more each time.
- Know Each Others Personal Goals & Show An Interest – Most of the time I want to work on my lower body, and my husband is more concerned about his chest and arms. But because we acknowledge this and we know how important those areas are to one another. Workouts for those areas become more focused on the person it matters to most. This way the motivation and focus remain intact. Respecting our individual needs. Nothing is more defeating than working on your area of focus while having someone disinterest in what you are doing.
- Flirt With Each Other – Spice it up! You are in a sweaty environment, doing movements that you can totally play around with. Let your spouses eyes be on you. No matter where you are physically, they are with you and love you. Work with what you have and keep the flame going. A simple touch, blowing kisses, telling one another they are looking super sexy… keeping things PG, yet silently hot between the both of you. Never mind the guy with the twelve pack and zero percent body fat. Never mind the girl that barely has anything on and is bent over. You can keep the focus on each other, each and every workout.
- Converse Without Nagging – I know the ladies get the bad reputation in the nagging department, but fellas you are not exempt. A positive environment does not go well with a nagging conversation. It is not the time to talk to your spouse about all the things you do not like, issues that you have with them, or others. You should stay clear from unleashing your insecurities, issues and negativity every time you hit the gym together.
A successful fit couple relationship is more than achievable, and by implementing these steps you will begin to see just how much you can enjoy one another. Regardless of your fitness level, or who is more experienced. Respect, encouragement and genuine interest for one another are the main ingredients!
You Are Loved xo,